Sudden Darkness: Life According to Ben
by KiaraAlexisKlay
Summary: Don't know where this is going. Just had to get it off my mind before it drove me Pollo Loco.
1. Chapter 1

Sudden Darkness: Life According to Ben

Author: Kristin aka Kiara Alexis Klay

A/n: This came to me after reading a really wonderful fanfic about Max and Ben titled Living and Dying, something I highly recommend you read. I couldn't get it out of my mind, I've always been fond of Ben, and the Max/Ben pairing. So here is what came out of that.

Pairing: Max/Ben – sorta

Disclaimer: I don't own Dark Angel, Fox does.

Summary: Like the title said. Life according to Ben. Just a series of short vignettes and mini drabbles that came to me at three a.m. in the freaking morning during a thunderstorm with a trusty spiral notebook and pencil at hand.

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**Sudden Darkness **

"Tell me about the Good Place," she whispers, and the sound, the request, stokes the warm feelings I bear towards her. Even as I can taste the sorrow and agony of those words as they fell from her lips.

The words brought to mind unbidden images that I hadn't dwelt on in years, evoking a return of feelings and thoughts of long ago. The slender woman's above transformed to that of another, more innocent fireball she'd been a lifetime away. A tiny moppet who repeated those words over and over, each repetition etching them in my mind, and heart melted and completely turned to something similar in consistency with the Manticore cafeteria's Jell-o surprise, I would oblige that soft command. Just as I do now. That one voice, that one command I could never resist.

"Where no one ever gets yelled at," I began the familiar refrain, born eons ago out love and desperation to appease my Sweet Goddess of the Night, to take away all the pain and horror of our life from her eyes and heart if only for a moment. Those were the moments I lived for.

Pain blistered up my side, the majority stemming from the very obviously severely injured portion of my body, even through the gradually numbing endorphins that were trying to make base camp along with shock. A broken leg, damaged pride, and shattered heart will do that to a person y'know.

Damn, my Maxie was always devastating when she fought.

Especially so when she was feeling strong emotion, like anger, sorrow, grief, desperation, betrayal, and a royal state of pissed offness that all were very, _very_ apparent even to me.

"Where no one ever gets punished," she picks up the threat of my oft-repeated mantra that had gotten all of us through the terror of our child- no, soldier hood.

An aphorism that had calmed her fears, given her something good to look forward to, to hope for.

Even as I stare out at nothing, I am aware of her, and I smile, my tortured soul finally coming to rest, for I knew what was coming. What she was going to do, and I couldn't have picked anyone else I'd rather have here with me. I accepted it, nay, I craved this closure. Even as I knew what it would cost her. For she was a part of me, my other half, the shard that would make me whole even as it would splinter her into thousands of pieces that may never be reunited with what would happen next.

It wasn't fair to ask this of her. But no one else would have done it, or even understood. They would have tried to 'save' me, to make me pay, to atone. But not her. Not my Max. She would do what was needed in the way it was needed.

Because she loved me. Because deep down, in that darkness of herself that was me just as the lightness of me that was her, she knew. She may never fully comprehend, but she knew.

And not even my reverence for the Blue Lady could outshine what I felt for my Maxie.

It was a little more difficult to breathe through the pain and the expectation, and my heart began to pound as I heard the ominous sound of Manticore coming in, to ruin this last moments of my existence with the only one I'd loved so unadulteredly. Time was running out for my Max if she was going to have a chance to escape Lydecker.

So it was with a wistful look at the woman and the girl who was Max that I repeated the final and her favorite line.

"Where you can sleep in a long as you wan-."

Sudden darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Sudden Darkness: Life According to Ben – Into the Light

Author: Kristin aka Kiara Alexis Klay

A/n: Hope you liked the first one; this looks to be a series of short fics. Not sure how many there will be. Just something I had to get out my head.

Disclaimer: No profit or creative license of Dark Angel and its products/affiliates/or whatever are going to me. Unfortunately. Cause, y'know, being unemployed and not getting a paycheck sucks.

Pairing: None. Ben's POV

Summary: You guessed it. Not over for my Benji just yet.

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**Seize the Night**

For the first time in a very long time, I am at peace. Or at least, my body is at rest.

There are no splitting headaches that leave me gasping and crying out in the most undignified and unsoldierly fashion. No more seizures that wracked my body, no voices, no guilt, no Blue Lady. There was a noticeable lack of the all consuming loneliness, of being separated from my family, of not knowing if I was the only one left. Or if She was okay.

My mind is free to roam and the first thing I noticed, aside from the amazing lack of anything else was this incredible feeling of a great weight being lifted off. I haven't felt this light and carefree since those days at Manticore when we used to seize every free moment and turn it into some form of happiness to offset the rigors of the daily training grind. We really seized the day.

Carpe Diem.

Or, would it be seize the night? Seeing as our free time centered at night.

Carpe Notte.

Seize the Night.

Hmmm….I like that better. The night. Night had always held a fascination to me, and there were times I envied Her, envied Her and Her ability to stay up to greet the day as twilight passed over to the living. Of course, the night always reminded me of Her, of countless hours fighting with my own weak body to stay awake, to be there for Her.

I had never been able to go out at night, without thinking about Her. Every clear, cool night brought back memories of curling up against Her naked back, pulling Her close, trying to help chase the fear away as Her body was wracked with shakes, to chase my own fear and weakness away that I'd lose Her just as I had lost my brother. I would wonder, what was She doing now, was She thinking of me, and was She lonely? Was She searching for us?

Somehow I always knew the answer. She was out there; She was searching, always searching for the missing pieces that we the family were. She was lonely, and that's when She missed me the most. That's when I missed _Her_ the most.

The second thing I was aware of was Her. I could still feel Her! My heart, or what should have been my heart, pulsed wildly inside. We were still connected, Her and I, just as we'd always been, since the beginning. I could still feel Her, taste Her emotions, touch Her soul, and right now, She was broken.

It was because of me.

That terrified me. Made me sad. But at the same time, I was enormously pleased and giddy. She was mine, and I was Hers, and we were together. At least, our souls were. I could see Her, a faint outline that gradually grew clearer, and with that clearage, I was aware and could see everything else.

Max. Max lying over me. Oh, Blue Lady, She'd snapped my neck! Is that what I really look like? From this angle, over Her shoulder, I gazed back at what I once was, and I grieved that it had to have come to this. That the one part of me that I'd been missing was now crumpled into a bazillion pieces and keening over my death. Death by Her hand.

I could feel Her pain as if it were my own. And as morbidly fascinating as this all was, She wasn't safe. I urged her to run, sent a warning to that half of Her that was me. I may not have been the best since the Escape, but I wasn't going to let Her down or get hurt anymore on my account.

'Max. Maxie. Get up. Get moving. Enemy territory, escape and evade. C'mon, move!'

Prodding Her along, it broke my- supposedly incorporeal- heart to see Her hurting so badly, but She had to keep moving. Yes, just leave me behind, I'm not there anymore, I'm here with You, and You need to keep moving!

I follow and keep pace with Her, glorying in the rush of the Run, knowing even amid the grief and hurt that She enjoyed running as well. The thrill of the hunt, whether as the hunted or the hunter, was intoxicating to say the least. It was what we were bred for, trained for, and designed for. And I was pleased to see Her enjoying it as well, though she wasn't consciously aware.

Even as I am aware of Her, I am also aware of what used to be me, so I knew when _He_ came along, when He ordered them to take me away. I hissed inwardly, and She cringed in response, forcing me to check my emotions. As connected as we were, she felt my distress and displeasure, and that confused Her, knowing that something was wrong but not knowing what.

_Damn, I can't even die without them bugging me._

Well, there wasn't much that I could do about it. The only thing I could do was follow Her as she wove silently through the trees, guarding Her even as my poor body was manhandled buy the bullies of Manticore.

My little Maxie eventually found her way back to Seattle, and I ghosted behind her, curious as to where she spent her time. Apparently, she'd been around long enough to be very familiar with the city, and I wanted to know as much about what she'd been doing as I could.

Night had fallen by this time, and it was still my favorite part of any day, and it carried with it the scent of Her. She smelled of vanilla and cherries, leather and gasoline, and the deep musky scent of fur, forest, and female. And underneath that, the salty taste of tears and heartbreak. Each deep breath was an involuntary intoxication and it was heady stuff, stuff that I'd missed all these years.

I followed Her as She made Her way to one of the ritzier parts of town, abandoning Her baby in a secure location, and making Her way up to the Penthouse of one Foggle Towers. What was my Max doing here?

She snuck out of the hall window out onto a parapet and gradually scaled her way to the rooftop, my own curiosity getting the better of me. What was She doing? She lifted up the skylight and lowered herself down to land in a silent, graceful crouch. There was someone else in the house, someone who I couldn't see and at that instant I was yanked away.

Like someone had pulled a string I was connected to, I found myself hurtling backwards, faster and faster, the scenery fading to a blur and even then it blurred faster so I couldn't even see the streaks.

Somehow I knew what was happening and I careened back in my body with all the force of a runaway train. My body arched and electricity splayed as my very being was jumpstarted by the defibrillator.

_No!_

I gained consciousness just long enough to feel the despair as two icy gray-blue eyes peered into my own.

The world faded back to night, even as I heard that ghastly voice, welcoming me home.


End file.
